I've always had this voice telling me to write, I’ve joked about writing things from all aspects of my life and/or job experiences and how it would either make a great sitcom or screenplay. As 2020 ends and 2021 begins; this is my attempt at writing and sharing the good, the bad and "my 2 cents" on random topics. 2021 will be more than a New Year or new chapter but a whole new book and life for me.
I wrote this originally in 2011 for 2012. I've updated it to make the timeline more relevant from then to now.
Eleven years ago I went through a wide range of emotions and changes; from the realization that I was in a 25 year relationship (marriage) that had always been abusive, starting out verbally and eventually turning physical. Also how I allowed people in my life to take advantage of me and I accepted their less than respectful behavior and not having the courage or confidence to stand up for myself, nor have I always taken care of myself. During these struggles I lost people close to me, watched my children grow up and to top it off I was about to turn 50 (I'm now about to turn 59)!
My grandmother, who was like a second mom to me, died from colon cancer in 2009, granted she was 90 years old and even though she grew up in an era of hard times, I do believe she had a very full, successful and happy life. Less than a year later my mom died. What started out as an ache in her lower back turned out to be lung cancer that metastasized in her bone marrow and by the time we figured out what was truly wrong with her, she died seven days later. Eighteen months later my dad passed away from a life of what I call “too much” and not taking care of himself; too much eating, too much drinking and too much sitting around and not enough of being active.
One thing the family discovered once my mom was gone, was that my dad was and had been suffering from dementia for a while. My mom always managed their finances, the house and my dad (which meant protecting him and the rest of the family from knowing there was more wrong with him than him being overweight, his heart and kidneys).
I do have many things that I am thankful for and feel blessed. I have three amazing kids who are my life, are healthy and for their ages and what they are involved in and doing are very successful and happy. Since originally writing this, I am now a grandmother to Olivia and soon to be a grandmother (Nana) to my second grandchild (it's a boy) in April 2021! I have a small circle of friends (some that go as far back as kindergarten) that have been worth their weight in gold to me.
My new year’s resolutions is to remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
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